Priority Checkpoint

Discovering what is best for our own family is the way to keeping our home life on an even keel. Our parenting and homemaking goals will vary as widely as the paths we’ll need to take to reach those goals, but one way to get a sense of direction is to make a list. If...I’ve learned anything from my husband it is this little golden nugget: if it needs to be done, write it down! Early in this series I mentioned making a list of goals, those things we deem important in running our households. Sometimes it is helpful to get the big picture in view. Is your main objective to have a clean house or to raise children? Is it to be able to contact Martha Stewart for a spot on her show or is it to have a reasonably clean, welcoming atmosphere for your family. When you have a clear big picture, then you can get down to the nitty-gritty details. Ask yourself first what matters to you regarding your everyday expectations and make a second list in addition to your goal list.

This is a priority checkpoint. Be honest with yourself as you prioritize your activities. A meticulously clean floor may have to take a back seat to your child’s paper mache volcano project. If I write down each day’s events (that list thing again), I am assured of at least attempting to get first things done first. Sometimes we struggle unnecessarily so and spend our days in frustration and chaos instead of peace, harmony and satisfaction, knowing we did what was most needful. Help is only a prayer away, “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, who giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not (doesn’t hold back); and it shall be given him.” And one of my all time favorite verses in the Bible, Jeremiah 33:3, “Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and show thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.” Being a mom could be so much easier …if we’d only ask for help.

Here’s an excerpt from the book Celebrate Home written by Angie Peters, that I thought I’d share with you today:

Housework isn’t really that important…Oh, yes it is – to an extent! Chances are that domestic order somehow figured into the picture if not at the top, at least in your “top 10” goals penned earlier. Why is it so important?

You may want to make you home a clear contrast to the hectic, messy, and disorganized world beyond your driveway. You want clean floors (if for no other reason than because your toddler would just as soon eat off the floor as off of china plates.) And although your walls may sport a cute plaque with a homey rhyme about excusing messes while you rock your baby, you wonder how comfortable your guests would really feel if they were to crunch crumbs from last night’s dinner as they walked across the kitchen floor.

In addition, you may find it difficult to imagine that the ideal woman, whose portrait is painted in Proverbs and whose standard we strive toward, had a basin full of dirty pottery, overflowing garbage baskets, or less-than-fresh straw in her family’s bedding.

Although we do need to clean our homes, we need more urgently to rock our kids while they’re still rock-able, to tell stories to our kids while they want to listen, and to embrace the story of Martha and Mary: We must know that to forego enjoying the blessings of the Lord’s presence in our living rooms (in our case, enjoying His presence in the hearts of our beautiful kids, in the pleasures of our home, and in the lifestyle we’ve been called to lead) to wash dishes would be to settle for second best!

Key Verse to remember: “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” - Matthew 6:33. Priority number one!

Have a blessed day,

Lori

Cleaning with Kids

In the early days, my kids were very eager to help with cleaning and household chores. I’m no fool, I put them to work! While they may not be ready to take on complete responsibility for household chores, your children might surprise you by their willingness to at least ‘help’. But, you’ll have to train them. The first course of action is to break down the job into bite-sized pieces. “Clean your room” is an overwhelming command when the room looks like an active junkyard. Make your bed, pick up the toys, put away books, pick up clothes, straighten dresser, dust and vacuum seem far less daunting. Small tasks are completed rather quickly and soon add up to that greater accomplishment – a clean room! Inch by inch it’s a cinch!

Communication gaps normally occurred in the command stage in our family. Somehow there was a great distinction between Mom Clean and Kid Clean. By listing each specific job (in the early days I did it by pictures), I eliminated a lot of confusion and frustration for me. Here’s the steps to Mom Clean in our house:
1. Clearly Define the Job.
2. Show them how to do it.
3. When the next cleaning day comes around let them help.
4. The third time, they do the job with supervision. I have to hold myself back on this one. This is the time for praise and not scrutiny. You don’t want discouragement at this level or you’ll create a dislike for the job, or the perception they can’t do anything right. Asking them questions like, “How do you think your room looks?” or “What do you think you could do to make your shelf look neater?” are far better than, “That looks awful!”
5. The fourth time is Independence Day! That’s when your child is left to do the work on their own. If you’ve agreed on what is an acceptable level of clean, junior will know when the job’s been done right. A word of caution, though, be sure to inspect what you expect. Kid Clean will be closer to Mom Clean if they know you’ll be back to check.

I used to have a chart system called Choreganizers that worked extremely well when my kids were small. Pictures of chores were used and hung on a name chart for a particular child. When that chore was done, they took the card and placed it in a pouch. Mom Money or Dad Dollars were given out for a job well done. The store was open at the end of the week for them to cash in or save for a larger prize the following week (prizes were small like a pencil, eraser, or new crayon and big prize was an ice cream cone or something like that.) When they had outgrown the chore chart, we went to a list of chores that needed to be done in each room. Some chores needed to be done daily and some weekly or monthly. Those were listed under their headings. That list was slipped into a vinyl sleeve protector and posted on the back of the door in that room with a dry erase marker mounted nearby. Each child was assigned a room for the week. They then checked off what they had done during our cleaning time, very similar to Zone Cleaning today. Now, with time constraints, busy schedules and busy teens, we do the 15 Minute Power Clean! That’s what my middle son came up with. We set the timer for 15 minutes and everyone runs to their assigned location and works like mad to get it all done. It’s amazing what we can accomplish in only 15 minutes! This is a great emergency plan and works well when surprise company is coming, an activity is moved in doors, or you’ve been busy and created a huge mess and it’s time to clean it up!

What if you have a child who doesn’t do it the way you do? That used to really irritate me and I viewed it as disobedience for a long time. But, really it’s okay …IF…they have learned it the way you’ve shown them, can do it that way and have met your acceptable standard. Allowing them the freedom to devise ways of doing the job more efficiently will keep their interest levels high and even initiate creativity. And that’s great inspiration for growth! You might even get an inventor out of the deal. Hmmmm, I wonder if some kid had an overwhelming job and that’s why the vacuum cleaner was invented?

Have a blessed day,

Lori

PS. You can still get Choreganizers and Zone Cleaning now has a Zone Cleaning for Kids Clean and Flip Chart that looks like a great way to motivate kids to clean. If you know of any other great options, let us know by leaving a post below. Thanks.

Organization 101

Back several years ago, we purchased a major renovation project. A home that had so much clutter that several two-ton truck loads were needed to haul it away. That was a real eyeopener and a very graphic illustration as to what can happen when life gets overrun with s-t-u-f-f!! I guess you could say, that was a turning point for me. I am really not a naturally organized person, you might call me an organizing wannabe - I have to work at it! In my quest for order and organization I have discovered it is much easier to manage a small quantity of items than a large quantity. So...get rid of as much clutter as possible! Easier said (or is it easier read) than done! My bookshelves are lined with books on how to declutter, organize and manage my home. But, here's my favorite "way":

Starting at the door of each room, I work my way around the outside edge, checking in all the nooks and crannies along the way. As I move through each room, I take with me three boxes: a give away box, a put away box and a throw away box. Ahhh...make that four - add a don't know box. When I find things that are too good to throw out, into the give-away box they go. I do have some words of caution concerning this box: don't take anything out of the give away box once you've put it in and don't wait for the perfect time or the perfect person to give it to. Get rid of it right away. You'll be glad you shared!

Procrastination will take many forms when it comes to this job of decluttering, so I cover all the bases with my don't know box. Those items I just can't part with right now, or I'm not sure where they go, are deposited directly into this box. Honestly, I drop them in there and don't give them another thought, or I'll be found wandering through the house aimlessly looking for a place to put them. Lengthy decisions and affectionately caressing each item makes it far more painful to part with - trust me, this box speeds up the entire process.

I go through my entire house using this system of parting with all unnecessary, space cluttering things I don't need any more. Out goes the stack of magazines I was saving for a good look one day, the old outdated vitamins and over the counter medications, and the old clothes I was dreaming of getting back into some ...hey, when I get down to that size, I'll deserve new ones! No sentiment here...I have to remind myself I don't need to save things to save my memories (not easy for someone who still has mementos from grade school). I have to admit some times parting with things hurts, but it is only temporary compared to the exhilarating feeling of freedom from clutter!

Clutter is a like a parasite - it receives food and shelter at our expense! We humans have been known to build on extra space to house it - garages are a prime example (how often are just cars found in a garage?). Clutter multiplies faster than fruit flies on a ripe banana. Did you know clutter ranks near the top in chief causes of stress? We ought to take it seriously, it is at the root of many problems.

When reorganizing the things you've decided to keep, check your space and budget limitations. I've had to invest in shelves and storage containers (which really go on sale after Christmas I've noticed). Then I decide what will be kept in each room I'm working in. For example, "The bedroom closet shelf will only be used for blankets, bed linens and personal items. The family room will be used for toys and games, and the shelves for school books." Having these guidelines will help you in the sorting process. When I know the function of an area, it enables me to make quicker and more accurate decisions regarding what goes and what stays.

Set a time limit. Putting a date when I plan to be finished really helps me accomplish my goals. Be realistic, though, if you haven't done this before or it's been a while, this will take some time. Make a plan and begin right away, whether you think you are ready or not. Excuses will abound: I don't have enough time. My energy level is too low. I don't feel like doing this. My house is too small. My house is too large. My family is too messy! Don't give in to these excuses or let them discourage you. You are the only one who can make it happen. A poem by Edgar A. Guest called "It Couldn't Be Done" really says it all:

Somebody said that it couldn't be done
But he with a chuckle replied,
That "maybe it couldn't" but he would be one
Who wouldn't say so till he'd tried.
So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin
On his face. If he worried he hid it.
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did it.

That's determination! "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." - Philippians 4:13. And that will ensure success!

Have a blessed day,
Lori

Change, Commitment and Control

Someone said, "Keeping the house clean while children are growing is like shoveling snow while it's still snowing!" The fact that I am home all day with my children, (who are quite efficient mess factories on occasion), can sometimes frustrate even my most valiant efforts to keep my home clean. Couple that with the ads for cleaning services I get in the mail and its not long before visions of... neatly made beds, toys all in a row and a couch one can actually sit on, begin wandering through my head. Of course this is possible!! Hire it out! Then I could spend all those extra valuable hours in quality time with the kids! My bubble is soon burst with one quick phone call..."You want how much? To just do the basics? Like dusting and vacuuming? (That's the easy part!) Extra for dishes, bathrooms and...you don't do windows!"

Most likely, you're like me, hiring a cleaning lady just isn't in your budget. And honestly I couldn't quite justify it. There has got to be a way to...are you ready? A way to keep a clean house with...with...kids at home! True, this is a very hard saying, as the thought of it might conjure up ideas of Super Mom - able to handle 10 kids with a single leap, homeschool them all in a single bound, and with one quick sweep - her house sparkles! Well, take heart, there is no such creature. We all have our flaws and shortcomings! But...it is possible to keep our homes reasonably clean - even with children dwelling there, especially if we learn to: organize, create a workable plan and delegate.

If you don't know where you are going, there's no need to start! She who aims at nothing is likely to hit it! We need to set some goals, realistic goals. What are you trying to accomplish? A clean house in which you can eat off the floor or a reasonably, comfy, orderly, inviting retreat for all who enter? Do you want spotless windows, clean desktops,and dust free piano or do you envision a peaceful, calm space with your family moving about happily and unhurried with you in control of your environment. How about that extra free time that seems to flit elusively away each day? Wouldn't it be wonderful to know you are growing and developing spiritually because you now have the time and energy for the things of the Spirit?

Write down what you envision your home to be and then jot down some ways to meet those goals. The hard part is keeping our goals in view when the going gets tough and we see no end in sight. So take time to write it down. In order to meet these goals I had to welcome these three things into my life: Change,Commitment and Control.

Change begins in our minds. I am often quite content, mind you, with the way things are. It's familiar ground. Change means C-H-A-N-G-E! I do have to remind myself though, God is a God of order, and if I'm honest I'm not really happy when things are chaotic and in disarray in my life. God has given us dominion over our world, that includes our homes...it is our responsibility to rule it competently and well.

Commitment involves dedication to a project. If home is important to you...dedicate yourself to cleaning it up. Make it a priority.

Control. Sometimes we get ourselves in trouble by over-committing to, yes, very worthwhile activities and projects, but our first responsibility is our home, not for the sake of the house, but for the sake of our families and our selves. Home is the base from which we reach out into the world. As we get our home base in order, then we may be able to add more to our lives. In the mean time, it may mean learning to say a very hard to say, short word beginning with N and ending in O! "No, I'm sorry I won't be able to help you with that." We only have a limited amount of time and energy. Spend it wisely, where it will help most to accomplish our goal - an orderly on purpose life lived for our Lord.

Home-ly Attitudes

As a young girl, I perched over Mom's shoulders as she carefully transformed an old outfit of hers into a fresh new skating outfit for me. Her sewing machine hummed along with ease and her careful cutting and pinning paid off as I quickly modeled it as a "perfect fit". As a young girl, I enjoyed listening to the drone of the vacuum cleaner as I drifted off to sleep at night and arose the next morning to a spotless house. As a young girl, I eagerly waited to scrape the bowls for that last bit of chocolate chip cookie dough or a chance to lick the frosting from the beaters. The mechanics of such homemaking skills never entered my mind. I never thought to take notes - homemaking was something moms did! Cleaning house? - moms did that, too. Too bad I didn't follow Mom around with a notebook and pen in hand. I wasn't exactly ready when I began my "Mothering Career". School hadn't prepared me for diaper bags, grocery lists and mop buckets! Over the last 23 plus years I've had to deal with some attitudes about housework and home management. These attitudes have not been pretty to say the least. In fact, let's just call them "Home-ly Attitudes" - bad attitudes about running a home! These attitudes can defeat our walk as Christian women and unfortunately affect our children's attitudes about work as well. Well, here goes (this is one of those 'closet' moments I mentioned in my welcome page):
"Okay, I'll clean the house, but I'm not going to enjoy it!!" And you're going to know it! Wham, goes the cabinet door (clean cabinet door that is!) Where's the vacuum cleaner?! Ooooh, this thing is soooo heavy. Can't anybody pick anything up around here? Wait a minute! Whoa! I've seen this attitude before -a few good verses just popped into my mind! Colossians 3:23, "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men." Hmmmmmmm....I guess it doesn't say whatsoever I do that I like to do. Next, "God loveth a cheerful giver" are we not as moms givers? Giving our time, our energy, our love, our talents for the good of our families? "Do all things without murmurings and disputings", OUCH!! Why do we try so hard to teach our young ones to do unpleasant tasks cheerfully when we are often the ones who teach them to gripe?

While 'mothering' is a noble calling and carries wonderful merits on its own, housework doesn't seem to glow quite so brightly! There are days I'd like to sweep scrubbing shower stalls, cleaning toilets, washing endless loads of laundry and ironing right out of my job description. Okay, time for another attitude check. Am I exhibiting a servant's heart or just my own selfish human nature? Am I imitating Christ who said, "I am among you as he that serveth." I guess an attitude adjustment ought to be on my agenda today!

At one point early on in my endeavors as a homemaker, I had the attitude, "If I can't do it right, I won't do it at all!" Well, the Bible does say, 'Let all things be done decently and in order", but it doesn't say, "Let all things be done spotlessly and meticulously." We are to simply do what it takes to make our households run smoothly. To do this we should have a system of keeping up with our daily responsibilities. Now, individual housekeeping standards and styles will vary. The idea is to develop a set of realistic goals that makes me and my family comfortable. These goals may need an occasional adjustment based on present activities and circumstances. Things like homeschooling, illnesses, church events or even a recent move may cause us to reevaluate our existing goals. Check back this week as we look at a few ways to get organized and keep our house clean...even with kids!!

Lori

Cleaning Day - Dust Busters

This was written when my kids were small and illustrates a "typical cleaning day"(sort of - it didn't always end this sweet way!)with children.

I sat diligently working out my strategy, planning my attack and counter-attack. I was heavily armed - weapons at my side - ready for action! My squadron had just been called to active duty. This was high alert! The activity (that is, the outside activity scheduled at our home this evening)has just been changed to an indoor event! Call out the troops! This is no ordinary job - this is a job for the "Dust Busters"! They came from all corners of the house at the sound of the trumpet (that's what my youngest son said I sounded like - I'm sure he didn't mean melodious either). The reports came in - m e s s - HUGE MESS on third floor (otherwise known as the attic.) Hmmmmmmmm....this report comes in quite often, but the culprits have yet to be located. Whenever asked, "Who did this?" it seems Ida Know and Nobody get the votes hands-down!. OK - mess in the attic - can we pinpoint the trouble areas and target them for action?...er...the WHOLE attic is a mess? But I was just up there yesterday...Okay, Joel and Annie go up first and put your toys away...where they belong, in the right places, not stuffed in corners or under the couch. I want it done right!

Next report...kitchen! Hmmmmmmmm...from the looks of it Someone has been here - perhaps baking. Bowls with chocolate somewhat scraped from the sides, spoons with ooey-gooey stuff strewn about. Ah huh! Crumbs...brownie crumbs. I am quickly writing down my detective report. Someone didn't clean up, wipe up and put away after baking...Someone was b-u-s-y. Someone needed to be located and put to work. This particular Someone was summoned to attend to "forgotten" matters and upon arrival she was handed her weapons: dish cloth, towel, broom and dustpan. Area 2 was now covered.

Third alert now coming in...b-b-bathrooms? I hate to ask. Sounds like someone small did this deed. Toilet paper all over the floor, paper from the garbage can strewn all over. Okay, got it...ooh...bubble bath...on the floor, powder? - where? Th-that's enough! Sigh! Get the mop, the rags, the disinfectant spray, the bucket and a bag. To your duty at once!

That's four "Dust Busters" at their posts...one left! I turned around - my files that I had neatly piled on the floor were now strewn in an amazing array...all over my the dining room floor. Pencils and pens lay everywhere...startled at the next crash of objects I turned around...Ah huh! The culprit is still at it..caught red-handed! Gracey!! She quickly turned around, her pudgy little hand still clutching the next barrage of things to go overboard. A nearly toothless grin spread across her little face, telling me she was having the time of her life!

Maybe it was the sight of colorful dropping objects, or the crashing, banging sounds that fanned her curiosity. Needless to say, this menace needed to be stopped! She was quickly whisked off to the corner, tearfully watching for a ...second. Another loud crash, I whirled around to watch helplessly as my pictures on the coffee table came tumbling down to the floor one after the other. A startled baby began to cry.. all she had really wanted was the lace table runner. I think it's time for a nap.

The "Dust Buster Reports" are beginning to trickle in. The 4 and 6 year old proudly proclaim, "The attic is clean!". My suspicions are mounting! It's only been a few - minutes. The Kitchen Cleaner gives her report - all's well on that front. The Bathroom Cleaner arrives - worn weapons in hand. Battle fatigue is beginning to show. It looks like...yes...the battle has been won! In record time! Our team effort has paid off!

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour" - Ecc. 4:9

Hmmmm....a good reward? See ya at the Dairy Queen!